The c-word

This day started crap. Then it became crappier. After it had gone even more craptocious, all the fun things got overshadowed by the craptastic amount of crapness. CRAP.

There are a few things that I have been all day long. Cold, sleepy and nauseous. The first is impossible to cure because of the ridiculous temperature of this school, the second id my own fault and the last has been attacked by a painkiller, but that hasn’t given any result, because I still feel like puking my guts out. I want to go home, go to bed and sleep. But I’m stuck at school, NOT doing my homework for another hour, then have volleyball in the rainy outside and then, as the cherry on the cake, walk up home, probably dying.

I’m seeing a pattern. Remember last Tuesday? Yeah you do, because that was the last time I blogged (Fail) and then I had a lot to whine about to. Is Tuesday going to be my whine day? I certainly hope not, but with the cooper test in sight (Just 5 more weeks! Eep!) it is looking like that. CRAP.

And it's even worse. Because I want that dress, that hair and that voice.

 

 

F-word my life.

My senses

Song to listen to: The Safety Dance by Men Without Hats (SO funny)

Today, I saw: This movie in English class, The Terminal. It was GREAT. So funny and clever, and just good. Go rent/borrow (download) it.

Today, I smelled: The smell of the rain dripping down my face when I had to walk home from school and got soaked.

Today, I touched: My legs and luckily the scrapes are healing. Now everybody wish for scar-less skin in the future.

Today, I heard: My washing machine MAX when she started on our dark clothes. Hmm, I love my Maxxie.

Today, I tasted: The salty deliciousness of the handful of chips I took this afternoon, when the sugar/fat-crave became too much.

.

WHY DIDN'T I TAKE MY FRIGGIN COMPUTER TO SCHOOL?!  Now all I can use is this crappy schoolcomputer, without any of my own computer's perks. They've thrown everything useful away, and all that is left is internet and adobe reader. Great you know.

It is aroudn 12 o'clock, and I actually have nothing (fun) to do until, half past one. It is rainy/freezing outside and for unknown reason I didn't take my coat with me this morning... Pre-senile? When I discovered the lacking of my favourite HM warm-holder, I was already a bit to late, and I did want to walk back and be very to-late. Now, I'm feeling the pain because it is extremely cold, and I'm wearing a t-shirt. I will die.

I could actually be social right now, but I'm ignorig that, and quite frankly, I enjoy the crazy stares I get from this boy next to me who is probably wondering why I'm writing in english right now :P Ow and I'm considering to get myself a muffin from the canteen. You know. Because I rule.

And chocolate is my drug.

Nighty-night

“Goodnight room. Goodnight moon. Goodnight cow jumping over the moon. Goodnight light and the red balloon. Goodnight bears. Goodnight chairs. Goodnight kittens. Goodnight mittens. Goodnight clocks and goodnight socks. Goodnight little house and goodnight mouse. Goodnight comb and goodnight brush. Goodnight nobody. Goodnight mush and goodnight to the old lady whispering, “hush”. Goodnight stars, goodnight air. Goodnight noises everywhere.”

Link

We went to the movies and saw...

Eclipse. It sucked. Horrible. There are a few points that puzzle me and I’m sorry, but you’ll have to suffer through them to get too the end.

EDWARD IS A PSYCOTHIC, CREEPY AND CONTROLLING BOYFRIEND

He doesn’t know the limits and if I were movie-Bella I would scream and run. Hard. Geez, what kind of guy takes things out of your car to ‘’protect’’ you? In the books it’s not quite as stomach-turning and I actually find it kinda cute there. But in the movie, when he suddenly is in the car next to her and says nothing, he’s not all that perfect no matter how ‘’amazingly sculpted his ivory chest’’ is. This guy lies to her ‘for her protection’, creeps up in her room at night and repeatedly tells her she doesn’t know what she wants. I say: RESTRAINING ORDER!

Their communication is not healthy

I’m single at the moment, so I wouldn’t call myself an expert, but normal couples in love don’t act like this. Yeahyeah, I know, they’re supposed to be special, a vampire and a human and they have an amazing bond, they can’t live without each other, blaahblaah. Don’t they ever LAUGH? Or talk at a normal speed, without all the heavy breathing (or in Edwards case, sniffing) and the glares back and forth. They keep telling us how much they love each other, well, to me it seems like they are just keeping together because no one else wants them. But I’m coming back on that. And, something that has to do with this, where the heck is that chemistry RPatzz and KStew supposedly have? I only see two drama queens and a staring competition. Because you know, they don't share any interests, because neither of them have any interests. They don't have the same views on philosophy, because neither of them is any deeper than a teaspoon. In fact, the only "real" reasons we see for the mutual attraction are that he's pretty, and she smells good.

(In the books it seems like they actually have fun together....)

 

You know, it’s possible to film faces from a normal distance, we don’t have to see every freckle

What’s with all the close-ups? They scare me. The director is trying to make a point, I guess, but he fails. I GET it, dude. They LOVE each other that’s why they are close ALL THE TIME. But we don’t have to be that close. We can see they’re heartbreaking romance evolve from a decent distance.

 

Why do Bella’s eyes look dead?

Kristen Stewart has blue-green-or-even-called-aqua coloured eyes and they make her wear lenses. I like that, you know, go that extra mile for your character. Unlike that ugly guy that plays HP that never bothered to wear green lenses, the lazy ass, they don’t hurt you know. BUT the downside is that Bella’s eyes look like the eyes of a corpse. It’s like they have just smeared (yuck) her pupil all over her eye. With those eyes she could actually already be a vampire, just without the bright-red or golden vamp-eyes from Stephanie Meyer’s imagination.

 

Jacob, oh Jacob…

Taylor Lautner is hot and all, but man, that boy can’t act. They poor guy should go back to school and l earn to do another job, because his acting reeks like my brothers sports bag. I feel sorry for him.

Like how Jacob is professing his love for Bella all seriously? Most ridiculous thing I've seen in ages. He just looks like a lost little puppy dog. OK, maybe it wasn't so ridiculous, as this was probably one of the most realistic teen moments of the film, but the delivery is just so overacted that it's hard to take him seriously as a love interest for Bella. And then the dramatic moment when he says that he’d rather have her dead than a vampire. Sigh. Taylor, you should marry me and then you can stay home, work out and look pretty while I’m earning the money. You can have a pet.

As you can see, Eclipse didn’t earn many points in my opinion. Even thinking about it now, only one things comes to mind, something that I hope won’t really come up because I have a long way to the bathroom: BARF.

While at the movie theatre I kept hitting myself in head hoping that the movie would improve. It didn’t. You should see this one (although don’t recommend spending money on it, borrow it or something) because you should have seen it. You should know what they talk about and it’s a great conversation starter at your next dinner party with your boss: ‘’Did you see Eclipse? Wasn’t it HORRIBLE? I KNOW, I wanted to scratch out my eyes at one point…’’

Blood... everywhere

If you are a real Viking or just an hardcore tourist you jump in the fjord. Preferably from a rock. And you climb our of it. Forget using a ladder, no, you climb over the ‘’seapocks’’ and you get some hardcore scarpes on your hardcore legs. But not me. I tried to get on a 5 metre high rock, and I just scraped up my whole legs. You know, blood and everything :P It hurted like heaven and everyone keeps asking me what the heck happened to my legs. If my razor attacked me, if my cat decided that my legs looked like mice or if I’m just stupid.

It looks like this:

You know, that is not easy to ignore :P Crappy pictures, but, hey, itæs the best you can get on my Sony Ericsson Hazel.

I wrote this like... 12 hours ago xD

The stars didn’t collide, the Eiffel Tower didn’t fall of the face of the earth and there was no blood coming out of the shower but I blogged anyway. Because I rule.

In this writing moment I am at school, being all un-social and a loner, sitting with my computer. I decided that this was the best time to, you know, let you know that I am certainly not killed by my nerves for beginning the new schoolyear. I must say this schoolyear started out quite fantastic, and I’m starting to believe that 2010-2011 is going to be a lot of fun ^^ I’ve got the best teachers, we live close to everything now, I like my roommates, it’s nice to have friends and, this is the best thing of all, I’ve got a locker that is perfect for me, instead of one I have to destroy my back in order to reach my Norwegian schoolbook. The weather has also been uncanny hot for this time of the year, and hey, you don’t hear me complaining about the suns shining but why now? Why not in the actual summervacation, when we were begging for some colour on our skin. I’m telling you, the Norwegian weather is more unpredictable than Tracy Turnblad’s mom on diet pills.

How about a picture from school right now?

Alejandro, alejandro, alejandro

I generally have respect for adults. You know, when they are not trying to ruin my life. We should learn from those old people, because, you know, they screwed up the world and by watching them we learn how not to do it. Two days ago I took my first steps into the into the adult world. Yeahyeah, I’ve lived on my own, I have worked and I have paid bills, but THIS people, this was I gigantic leap. The world will never ever be the same. This baby is going to help me through the rough times and make me happy by making me smell nice. When I cry she will clean out the stains and when I kill and there is blood all over my white satin evening gown she will get rid of the evidence. She is the biggest thing I’ve ever bought. She is... *drum roll please* 

MY NEW BOSCH MAXX 7 VARIO PERFECT

Yeah, feel the jealousy and let it burn your insides. To be honest, my dad picked it out and decided I needed this one, because, you know, I know squad about washing machines, but when I touched her and she smiled at me with her shiny, see through face, I knew it. This was love. For ever. And I am officially grown up. SUCK ON THAT MILEY I FRIGGIN OUTDID YOU WITH YOUR VAGINA-SHOWING CLOTHES

So, I don’t know how clear I’ve made this, but I have moved from one side of Førde to the other. I like my new place, its antfree. AND the old renters left us this awesome poster.

It’s above the toilet, because, and I know guys rather not want to know this, we stink too.

After a photo-shoot with the poster I noticed the mirror in the bathroom, do I decided to make some Ow-look-at-me-I’m-standing-in-front-of-a-mirror-and-I-like-you-know-need-a-new-profile-pic-so-I’ll-take-some-totally-unflattering-pictures-of-myself-because-I’ve-never-heard-of-holding-camera-in-FRONT-of-my-face pictures. (Was that even understandable?) But I guess I miss that particular gene. Or I lost it somewhere. You see? I DID become a grownup when I purchased MY NEW BOSCH MAXX 7 VARIO PERFECT.

I’ve been thinking about naming it. One name hit me right away. Alejandro. And YES that is a certain Lady’s fault, she has been screeching that name into my brain whenever the radio is on. I haven’t really come up with another name. What suits this lovely face?

Ow, faithful readers, any ideas?

Spotify is a true lifesaver.

A friend just send me 84 songs to listen and to, according to her, love. My Ipod is hungry for some new tunes and I love it when people send me songs or playlists but, my darling, I just haven’t got the time to review every song :P

Because I have nothing sane to write about now, except my aching ears, I will post a picture of a mop with a face on it jumping over a pole.

<3

PS: To stay on topic, I'm am falling in love with Nada Surf. They make me happier than any other boy has ever managed.

HM

I am CLEANING up my computer, to prepare for the new schoolyear, and I find weird things all over the place. I tend to press save a lot withput sctually thinking about where I save it or what the document is called :P That results in a lot of searching through my computer and claiming things are gone, when they are just hiding in some file called School, Parents or just Shit. (That’s a fact)

Once upon a time I saw this movie called The Time Travellers Wife, I googled some pictures and I wrote something about it. Now I found it back. And on this dreary Thursday evening I am copying and printing it into the space I’m typing right now, so that I can go back to my book and bed. *smile*

The Time Travellers Wife

 

Can I say HM as a review. It was a weird movie, that is all I can say. Confusing... I watched it with friends and we had to figure out together how everything worked. It had a great cast, Rachel McAdams is so cool, and was entertaining, but not something to recommend. Watch it on a rainy Sunday evening, with a few friends and don’t expect too much.

Alba at Nine: Tell me the story of how you and Mama met?

Henry DeTamble: Doesn’t she tell you?

Alba at Nine: She does, but not like you do.

Henry DeTamble: Well, it was right here in this meadow. And one fine day, your mom, who’s just a tiny little thing, goes out to the clearing, and there’s a man there.

Alba at Nine: With no clothes.

Henry DeTamble: Not a stitch on him. And after she gives him the blanket she happens to be carrying, he explains to her that he’s a time traveler. Now, for some reason I’ll never understand, she believes him.

Alba at Nine: ‘Cause it’s true.

Clare Abshire: Honey, do you know who that is playing with Alba?

Henry DeTamble: That’s Alba.

Clare Abshire: Yes, I know, but who is that with her?

Henry DeTamble: That’s your daughter. She’s time-travelling. Is it too weird for you?

Clare Abshire: No, it’s actually kind of magical.

Ahhh, the sweet release of being able to delete somthing on my computer...

But I'm too blind to see

Girl girl girl

When I hear him talk

Ooh my mind gets blocked girl

Speak up 'cause my jaw is locked

Which is good, good for me girl

It hides like a warning sign

But I'm too blind to see

Girl - Anouk

Summer is over people, let’s face it. We have to pick up where we left of, go back to school, work or whatever else you do when it’s not summer. I’m (almost) moved in, I’m unnaturally excited to begin at school again and I’ve prepared my brains on some glossary remembering. That’s what you get when you pick four languages for next year.

So, to get into the whole having-to-wake-up-at-7-o’clock system again, I looked up when my favourite shows

Screw that, i just realized that it was getting boring sorry. I was also exposing a little to much of my not exciting life on the internet, and that is never smart. Gnichpfugggdf.

Because I left my writing-brainy-brainy-brain somewhere dusty, I’ll just leave with a goodbye and a very good site. Robot vs Badger.

Ow and my favourite tonguetwister.

 

Self Control

I got a new favourite site. It’s called topshop.com and it is genius. WHY DID NO-ONE TELL ME ABOUT THE INVENTION INTERNET SHOPPING? Sure, once I ordered some clothes from this cheap-ass store where my mum was buying clothes, but a site where I basically loved everything? New to me. I ordered for £173, counting on the fact that I’ll be returning some stuff, but kind of realizing that I probably won’t because it is all so PRETTY! Geebeezus. Now it’s just to wait and see how fast they are with delivering, if it’s easy to return, etcetera. But the site gets updated so fast (they already had a bunch of new rings today. Drool.) that there is little they can do wrong to throw me off the TopShop fanpage. Did someone say Facebookgeek?

 

Some things I ordered:

Did you see the bag?! Isn’t it amazing? I know, I know, old-lady-ish, but people, it’s a box bag and those are great ^^ It’s £30 but who cares? That’s why I spend half of my summer making burgers and selling ice creams.

Another thing I really wanted to order but couldn't was this. I want that, but I really don't want to press my chubby fingers in a size M and then have to have the ring surgically removed. I have SOME dignity.  

And these shoes.... I don’t know why I’m suddenly drooling over all these super-English flowery, romantic clothes but I’m guessing it has something to do with my crush on every male English celebrity of my age, my preference for the English language and my new found love for baking cupcakes. Like, how English can you get? In a few years I look like Mary Poppins.

My mum was sceptical about the shoes, but I’m sure I love them. They are light blue. And you know what? Friggin Taylor Swift (I almost typed Momsen ^^ Why is everyone called Taylor these days?) wears them! :O Owmygosh, you guuuuys! Loooooook.

I’m honest, I googled these pictures like an hour ago, it didn’t affect my decision to buy the shoes. I’m not THAT horrible, you know, even though the number of celebrity sites I check every day is scary high.

Something else that is pretty much the same. I found a supercool purse on Ebay. Another box bag. It’s my new addiction. Move over Harry P.

Isn’t it great? Say yes. Good boy. I COULD bid $8 and have those people send it to me. But I didn’t. It’s called self-control and after my online shopping spree today I decided that I wouldn’t have something that costs so little get shipped all the way from the US. Even though it is something I’ll never find over here in the middle of nowhere. Self Control.

“Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life”

OW, internet why do you abandon me in the worst time possible? Just when I am ready with my girlie music playing, my magazines with internet shopping tips and the best mood I've been in all day? Please Internet, stay with me! I’ve begun to realize that I simply can’t live without you! You are there for me in times of trouble, when I just have the need to google or to listen to a random song! You figure out difficult bus schedules for me, give met the latest gossip from the other side of the ocean and, frankly, you are the only connection to some of my foreign friends. You are the love of my life, the best invention since sliced bread and if you abandon me now I don’t know if I’ll come back to you. I will live like a nun, give my computer to charity and never scroll down your delicious pages again. Is that what you want? No? Then, for the love of God, stay with me! Hang in there, even though you just have three bars and the walls are too thick. You can do it, baby.

At least, wait with collapsing until I’ve ordered that cute dress from topshop. I know you love me THAT much.

 

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Life wanted. Preferably under 18 years old. Exciting, intelligent, fun. No internet, cellphone, iPod. Please send in a closed envelop. Sending costs will be paid.

I wish I had the balls...

to cut of my hair. Sure I did it once, like 4 years ago, but right now I'm am saving up for long locks. And I never did it as drastic like THIS:

I love it. Seriously. It's so pretty and fresh and clean and I kinda want to do it too. Of course I couldn't with my potato face, double chin and non-existing neck. She posted it today on her facebook and all of teh sudden I like her much better.

Her hair before was really nice too, but I guess that everything suits those with beautiful faces :)

Miley is a whore and jellyfish suck. Oops, 2 dollars in teh swearjar.

‘’Why is it suddenly half past 10? I’m JUST home. It was just half past 7.’’

 

I said that randomly in the air like 20 seconds ago. Then I opened this Word-document to write something. Now it’s 22.34. Since I have nothing interesting to say, my life is on vacation and getting tanned, I’m sorting out my saved photo’s quotes and websites. I save pretty much everything and it’s horrible. It’s everywhere. It’s a virus. It’s like me making ‘’Download’’ playlists. It’s never used brilliant material. Now it’s 22.37.

 

I want to thank Femke for this attribution to the last blog, you know the ones about the %/@(HIJH¤ things called jellyfish.

I’M NEVER GOING SWIMMING AGAIN.

 

We all know that Miley Cyrus is quite horrible as Hannah Montana. That’s settled. Unless you’re a girl between 4-12, a Disney Channel freak or a paedophile you are too good for that shit. But now Miley has totally changed her looks. Now she performs like this.

And this is a picture I almost don’t even want to link to.

It’s scary. I know I should be all supportive and nice, you know because she is finally acting her own age, even though her music is still shite, but I hate her new look and I can just imagine 7 year old girls crying, and asking their mummy why Hannah is dancing with her vadge hanging out.

Big transition. I ‘m thinking that Miley is going to be the next Britney, knocked up at 21, divorced at 23, mental institution at 25, overdosis at 28.

Now it's 23.07.

Look, Arjanne, I blogged :D

Jellyfish. You might know them as the squashy floating pillows from Finding Nemo, or as the nice jelly candies in your local store, but I, I know them as the extremely annoying, totally gross THINGS that ruin swimming in the Fjord and that can sting and make you cry for someone to urinate on you. (Apparently that helps)

The ones we got up here in the North as slightly reddish orange and stupid like idon’tknow. If you drop rocks on them (Which is my 2 nephews favourite activity here, next to killing slugs with salt) the will jump a metre out of the water and land back or you’ll hit them and they’ll are spit in two. Or three. Or just many bits that remind me of the jelly many people, not me, eat for dessert. Nice eh?

When we are busy finding rocks and dropping them in the pitch-black water and them laugh at the jelly fish for being stupid, we talk about them. Do they have brains? ARE they brains? Why are they red? Does the stinging really hurt? Do they really eat and pee/poop/lose disgusting stuff through the same hole? WHY DO THEY EXIST? The best theory I’ve heard (Mostly imagined by the two aforementioned nephews and that girl the parents brought home from the hospital once) is the one about how jellyfish stick themselves to your head and put their tentacles in your ears, suck out your brains and then get bigger. And then let your lifeless body float down to the bottom of the ocean, the bastards. Another theory (By my little sisters unofficial fiancé) is the one about how the jellyfish eat each other. Jelly fish don’t care if you are a little one or the enemy, you get slurped up in their (body...) pile of jelly.

SO I decided to do some research. Are these monsters really that clever? And the most important question; WHY DO THEY EXICST? The last question became unanswered, because you know ‘’God works in mysterious ways’’

My research started on the ever amazing Google. And guess what I’ve found. The site Jellyfishfacts.net. The fact that people actually are genuinely interested in this made me yawn and I can honestly say that jellyfish are useless.

’’The jellyfish is one of the oldest living creatures in the world. Jellyfish have existed on the face of this planet for over 650 million years. They have existed since before the dinosaurs and have survived long after the dinosaurs and million other species have gone extinct’’

WHY? Yo, big guy up there, bring back the freakin awesome dinosaurs and take these things!

'’The same opening under the body that serves as its mouth is used for releasing excreta from the body. Jellyfish normally eats whatever their long tentacles catch while drifting in the ocean currents. The main food sources of jellyfish are smaller fishes, eggs and larvae of sea creatures and zooplankton. The larger species of jellyfish eat crustaceans and other jellyfish.’’

They are CANNIBALES God! They eat their own kind! Aren’t we supposed to love our neighbours?

’’Whenever you enter the water to go swimming, no matter where you are in the world, if you aren't in a swimming pool then there is a good chance that somewhere near you there is a jellyfish happily floating around in the water just going with the flow of the current. It is important to remember that although they look quite intriguing and they look like they would be great to play with, they will sting you, the sting can be fatal, they are sea creatures that deserve our respect, it's best to leave well alone.’’

I can just imagine a 38 year old dweep sitting in his parents basement with his ’’I heart Jellyfish’’ t-shirt and his ’’I heart Jellyfish’’ cup filled with home-squeezed tomato juice writing this looking over his 1-cm-thick glasses.


Are you interested in these lovely friends in the ocean, read more here or get a life. Now I have to go to sleep and work tomorrow at the unhealthy hour of ten o’clock.