Look, Arjanne, I blogged :D

Jellyfish. You might know them as the squashy floating pillows from Finding Nemo, or as the nice jelly candies in your local store, but I, I know them as the extremely annoying, totally gross THINGS that ruin swimming in the Fjord and that can sting and make you cry for someone to urinate on you. (Apparently that helps)

The ones we got up here in the North as slightly reddish orange and stupid like idon’tknow. If you drop rocks on them (Which is my 2 nephews favourite activity here, next to killing slugs with salt) the will jump a metre out of the water and land back or you’ll hit them and they’ll are spit in two. Or three. Or just many bits that remind me of the jelly many people, not me, eat for dessert. Nice eh?

When we are busy finding rocks and dropping them in the pitch-black water and them laugh at the jelly fish for being stupid, we talk about them. Do they have brains? ARE they brains? Why are they red? Does the stinging really hurt? Do they really eat and pee/poop/lose disgusting stuff through the same hole? WHY DO THEY EXIST? The best theory I’ve heard (Mostly imagined by the two aforementioned nephews and that girl the parents brought home from the hospital once) is the one about how jellyfish stick themselves to your head and put their tentacles in your ears, suck out your brains and then get bigger. And then let your lifeless body float down to the bottom of the ocean, the bastards. Another theory (By my little sisters unofficial fiancé) is the one about how the jellyfish eat each other. Jelly fish don’t care if you are a little one or the enemy, you get slurped up in their (body...) pile of jelly.

SO I decided to do some research. Are these monsters really that clever? And the most important question; WHY DO THEY EXICST? The last question became unanswered, because you know ‘’God works in mysterious ways’’

My research started on the ever amazing Google. And guess what I’ve found. The site Jellyfishfacts.net. The fact that people actually are genuinely interested in this made me yawn and I can honestly say that jellyfish are useless.

’’The jellyfish is one of the oldest living creatures in the world. Jellyfish have existed on the face of this planet for over 650 million years. They have existed since before the dinosaurs and have survived long after the dinosaurs and million other species have gone extinct’’

WHY? Yo, big guy up there, bring back the freakin awesome dinosaurs and take these things!

'’The same opening under the body that serves as its mouth is used for releasing excreta from the body. Jellyfish normally eats whatever their long tentacles catch while drifting in the ocean currents. The main food sources of jellyfish are smaller fishes, eggs and larvae of sea creatures and zooplankton. The larger species of jellyfish eat crustaceans and other jellyfish.’’

They are CANNIBALES God! They eat their own kind! Aren’t we supposed to love our neighbours?

’’Whenever you enter the water to go swimming, no matter where you are in the world, if you aren't in a swimming pool then there is a good chance that somewhere near you there is a jellyfish happily floating around in the water just going with the flow of the current. It is important to remember that although they look quite intriguing and they look like they would be great to play with, they will sting you, the sting can be fatal, they are sea creatures that deserve our respect, it's best to leave well alone.’’

I can just imagine a 38 year old dweep sitting in his parents basement with his ’’I heart Jellyfish’’ t-shirt and his ’’I heart Jellyfish’’ cup filled with home-squeezed tomato juice writing this looking over his 1-cm-thick glasses.


Are you interested in these lovely friends in the ocean, read more here or get a life. Now I have to go to sleep and work tomorrow at the unhealthy hour of ten o’clock.