“Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life”

OW, internet why do you abandon me in the worst time possible? Just when I am ready with my girlie music playing, my magazines with internet shopping tips and the best mood I've been in all day? Please Internet, stay with me! I’ve begun to realize that I simply can’t live without you! You are there for me in times of trouble, when I just have the need to google or to listen to a random song! You figure out difficult bus schedules for me, give met the latest gossip from the other side of the ocean and, frankly, you are the only connection to some of my foreign friends. You are the love of my life, the best invention since sliced bread and if you abandon me now I don’t know if I’ll come back to you. I will live like a nun, give my computer to charity and never scroll down your delicious pages again. Is that what you want? No? Then, for the love of God, stay with me! Hang in there, even though you just have three bars and the walls are too thick. You can do it, baby.

At least, wait with collapsing until I’ve ordered that cute dress from topshop. I know you love me THAT much.

 

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Life wanted. Preferably under 18 years old. Exciting, intelligent, fun. No internet, cellphone, iPod. Please send in a closed envelop. Sending costs will be paid.