How To Lose a Ghanaian Man in 5 Seconds

This is an illustrative photograph I found online. Except I didn’t, and I know those people. 

I’m a white girl in Ghana. It is fun most of the time, because everybody is friendly, want to help you and want you to be happy. But then there are the men. They want to be a part of your life. They LOVE you. They want to marry you. (I've had 15 marriage proposals.)They want you to take them to Europe. They’ll get you pregnant. All that because they are strong, black African men. And that’s what every white girl wants right? Right. NOT.

The men here aren’t any less handsome, any less smart or any less funny, but they’re definitely more straightforward than any guy I’ve ever met back home. Which is fine, cultural differences and all that, but the thing is that most of them come up to me with the wrong idea. They see a white girl, and that is all they see, the skin colour. Nothing else. They don’t notice your face or your smile or your eyes or what words are coming out of your mouth. In fact, they confuse all white girls with each other. Their perception of white girls comes from American movies and if you’ve ever seen any American movie, I don’t have to tell you how wrong that is.

So how do you deal with all the flirting, shouting, touching, winking, following and staring? Here’s a list from a pro!

• You don’t have a phone in Ghana. Some of them (the smart ones) don’t believe that, but you don’t have a phone. Period.

• You don’t believe in Facebook. Or Skype. Or anything else that can enable them to contact you.

• Be careful who you smile at. Seriously. You don't want their attention. 

• If someone tries to grab your arm, yell in a loud African way (Ey!) and smack them if you need to. I have to say that I’ve never experienced someone really forcing themselves upon me in a physical way. Trying to grab my arm or putting their arm around me are the most common ways, but it has never been done in a intimidating way.

• You are married/engaged to a very strong guy who is not impotent (They’ll ask, trust me) but very loving and protective and will beat them up with his pinkyfinger. Have a name and occupation ready.

• Don’t respond to whistling. You are NOT a dog.

• Do not respond to lip smacking and ‘’kissing noises’’. You are NOT a prostitute.

• Keep walking at our own pace. You’ll walk away from most men seeing they all walk like old ladies here. Ghanastyle!

• Be as blunt as you have to be, but always smile. You can say the meanest things (I tell guys I don’t need another friend on a daily basis) but as long as you say it with a smile, they won’t get offended. 

:D

1 month of absence. This is a good thing. I am busy and having fun, the days fly and I am truly falling in love with everything over here. The kids are cute and amazing, teaching is so satisfying but challenging, I love the noise, the dirt, the heat and the insects. Eh, scratch that last one. The cockroaches and lizards are not very much fun.

Update right now: It’s 22.15 over here, I’m on my bed, I just ate dinner after coming back from the orphanage, I have a horrible cold so I feel weak and tired and dirty, and my nose doesn’t stop running, so we’ll see what happens tomorrow.  

Pictures and social media updates from the last month.

With Rhoda, one of the aunties at the orphanage, at her friend's wedding. 

I wore some curtains. 

At the market with Mavis our cook!

Bevin and Alfred, two of my fellow teachers. They're hilarious!

With Kowsa, my buddy from Class 4. 

We got creative with flowers and leaves at the orphanage! This is Destiny!

Rewarded Class 6 with juice boxes! Pay attention to Clement in the background! He's a doofus and the class clown, but he is the most intelligent out of them all. 

Nii at the orphanage!

Gifty, the cutest little demon ever! She is with her new family over in the States now, talk about bittersweet!

Stephanie. She makes me happy.